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Instead of responding with thought and kindness, he sent back a stupid, insensitive, crass, sexually explicit email that shocked me.

But today, she forwarded me something from the Internet (God, I love the Internet) called the "Douchebag Theory." (I apologize for the language, not mine, though I do love the toxicity and efficacy of the word.) posits is as such: When a girl is young and is playing with male kids, sometimes the male kid would hit her, or call her names, etc.

The girl would then run home crying to her mom, who would say "if he hits/calls you names that just means he likes you!

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You remember liking talking to him a lot in school, but he never asked you out, and you never paid him much attention in that department.

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